My first day at CrossFit Talon, I was in the worst shape of my life. I was a new mom to an almost six month old baby girl, feeling the weight of years of mistreating my body adding up as I contemplated what kind of example I was setting for her. I have always struggled with my weight and self-image, trying just about everything under the sun to be “skinny”.
At the encouragement of my CrossFit-ing husband, whose year and a half long patience, persistence, and example finally won me over, I darkened the doors of a place that was foreign to me. While I was still in the pursuit of “skinny”, what I didn’t understand about CrossFit, at the time, is that it’s not just about changing your body; it’s about changing your whole self.
For me, the transformation began in my heart and mind. Every day I showed up, pushing myself to new heights and being encouraged by a whole community of people on their own unique journeys. Soon, I was pursuing “strong” instead of “skinny”, leaving behind my self-doubt, endless obsession with numbers on a scale, and worry about what I saw in the mirror. Eventually, I noticed others remarking on what they were observing on the outside; I had failed to really see it myself because I was already feeling it on the inside. Clothes started to fit better, the weights on my bar got heavier, the repetitions higher, the times faster. I was changing and still am.
Thirty pounds, twenty inches, eight months, and three dress sizes later, I’m darkening those same doors, but I’m not a stranger anymore; to myself or to the people there. But for everything thing I’ve lost, what I’ve gained has been that much greater, including freedom from a lifetime struggle. And this is just the beginning.